Pessimist Sympathizer Pillows

"She always saw the glass as half empty, while I thought of it as half full. Now I see it as completely empty."

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Arthur Schopenhauer

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Untold Love Stories. The Shadow and Pollyanna. It's no use, Lamont, you know what evil lurks in the hearts of men and I believe there's good in everybody.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

"A pessimist thinks that we've already arrived."

"Half Empty. Half Empty. Half Empty-"

"Look on the dark side."

Tom's last day.

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

"Die alone"

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

'Taking guard' 'The pessimist'

That's where we're different. I see the toilet bows half-full, and you see the toilet bowl half-empty.

'Would you say this glass is half empty or half full?'

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

Gonna Suck

Must you always be so negative?

'Your glass is half full!'

"If you're thinking of evolving, don't bother."

'Turned out nice again.'