Pessimism Enthusiast Pillows

Desk Bins of a Curmudgeon.

"Waiter! My glass is half empty."

"If at first you don't succeed blame somebody."

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

"It's 2020, children. Just have faith that nothing's gonna work out in the end!"

"Is this worse? Or is this worse?"

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

Pessimists v Optimists.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

'There, Mr Optimist. Now how full is it?'

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

Tom's last day.

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."

Doom & Gloom

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

'Some see the glass as half empty, some see it as half full -- I see it as taxable!'

"Die alone"

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

"Maybe you should be depressed, your life isn't that great."

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

That's where we're different. I see the toilet bows half-full, and you see the toilet bowl half-empty.

Gonna Suck

'Taking guard' 'The pessimist'

'Would you say this glass is half empty or half full?'

Y2K Solutions Inc.

'Turned out nice again.'

The guy who wanted change, experience, a shoulder to cry on, and a medal, all tied up in a nice,neat package, with whipped cream and a cherry on top.

This will be a banner day for you!

Your radio show this week was incredible. Buzz off. Who cares what you think? It was angry, vitriolic, sarcastic, mean-spirited, pessimistic. Do you mean that? You really were listening? I'm not giving a compliment. You're less horrifyingly objectionable than usual.