Pessimist Comedic Relief Pillows

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

'There, Mr Optimist. Now how full is it?'

Tom's last day.

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

'I find it difficult not to entertain the occasional negative thought.'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

The Dungeon

Abstract art proves that things can be as bad as they look.

'We made it, Happy New Year.'

This will be a banner day for you!

Doomsdayers recycle pamphlets in case they are wrong.

'Look at that lunatic...'

"This feels like the start of something that will eventually break one of our hearts."

A giant squid gets "Life Sucks" tattooed on its tentacles.

Look at the bright side. The I.R.S. says obesity is a disease, so your office visits are tax deductible.

'I tend to look on the negative side of things. Do you guys do rose coloured glasses'

"If I was you...I wouldn't be worried about the future..."

"The nice thing about being a fruit fly is you only have to listen to one news cycle."

"First they make you button your own shirt, then they make you tie your own shoes...you gotta ask yourself ? where's this all heading?"

The split end is near.

'The bad news is the price of gas is going up. The good news is since I lost my job I've got nowhere to go anyway.'

"Breakfast is my favorite meal because the day hasn't been ruined yet."

"Well, it's a change of scenery."

"President Elect Donald Trump was killed today. . . when he was crushed under the wight of his own ego."

"You really don't need a good life, just a great obituary writer."

The whine of the month selection - Why me?