Playful Pessimists Pillows

The world may be my oyster, but I've never been able to pry it open.

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

Tom's last day.

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

"My glass is half empty"

"A glimmer of hope is fine, Hendricks, but anything more than that will lead to massive disappointment."

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

'I find it difficult not to entertain the occasional negative thought.'

A Stray Curmudgeon in a Field of Perennial Optimists.

Abstract art proves that things can be as bad as they look.

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

The Dungeon

Whinge drinkers: 'Music is too loud as usual', 'You can never get a seat'.

"People wipe their feet on me all day long. I mean, really, what could possibly be worse than that?"

"If at first you don't succeed blame somebody."

"If I was you...I wouldn't be worried about the future..."

'I tend to look on the negative side of things. Do you guys do rose coloured glasses'

"Is this worse? Or is this worse?"

Look at the bright side. The I.R.S. says obesity is a disease, so your office visits are tax deductible.

"The nice thing about being a fruit fly is you only have to listen to one news cycle."

"First they make you button your own shirt, then they make you tie your own shoes...you gotta ask yourself ? where's this all heading?"

'Do we have to go through this every year Henman says he can win Wimbledon?'

'What do you want first - the bad news or the even worse news?'

"President Elect Donald Trump was killed today. . . when he was crushed under the wight of his own ego."

"I quite agree - the weather has been pretty dreadful lately."

"Well, it's a change of scenery."

My problem isn't that the key to success is hard to find, it's that the key to failure is always left in the ignition.

"Waiter! My glass is half empty."

Bomb shelters: pessimists...optimists.

"Next time you hire a futurist, don't hire a good one."

Bird Flu Hysteria.