Personal Trainer Gifts

Spring Training

"What the hell happened in P.E.?"

"I love your body - where did you get it?"

'I think it's time to concentrate a little more on your upper body!'

"You've got the blood pressure of a teenager ? who lives on junk food, TV and the computer."

What Can We Do To Lose Weight?

'Have you considered getting a life-coach?'

How can we improve our health?

Woman on running machine next to a cake.

'You need to walk more.'

"Visiting your health club's website is a start, but I'd prefer you actually go there and exercise."

Caution: high speed treadmill, hole in wall behind it

Fitness Clinic.

'Let me have 20% fat, 40% carbohydrate, 40% protein and a cup of tea,'

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

Two entrances to a gym; one reads "Actual Exercise" while the other reads "Sit on Equipment and Stare at your Phone."

Exercising your heart.

"A hacker logged into my fitness tracker and stole all my steps."

'Come on you fat sweaty useless ugly slob!!...Get those flabby white legs moving!!'

Motivation to Keep Fit.

'Great, David! But think what you could do with a personal trainer!'

'Ok, now everyone jump up and touch the ceiling 100 times with the palms of your hands...'

'Doctor said to burn more calories.'

"The doctor told me I needed to burn some fat, so I'm grilling a steak!"

'DIET? EXERCISE?... Can't you just OPERATE?'

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

Woman and sport trainer

Thinning the herd.

'Hey, buddy! Unless you're passing, get out of the left lane!'

"I've accepted him as my personal trainer."

"Never eat anything you can't lift over your head."

The Evolution Of Obesity.

Rowing machine on a river.

'See that? A pile of twigs! That's how you end up if you don't stretch properly before the game.'

"To help you keep a healthy pace, I'm going to release Bruno here one minuit after you start."