Personal Efficiency Gifts

Horn of lost things

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

Time Is Money

'Please put that confusing mess of documents, files and folders where it belongs...in your computer.'

Maybe clean out your wallet

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

Inout baskets.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.

Fact: The average person spends 4.3 hours per week looking for things that are misplaced, misfiled or mislabeled.

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

Cat shoes: For those who are too busy to do their own walking.

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

"Do you think we should look again at who we invite to these meetings?"

Your computer has every alert, alarm and reminder possible...enough with the sticky notes!!!

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

'This chart shows how much time we waste every day looking at charts.'

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

The paperless office sign covered in post-it notes

'Should be home soon. I'm just clearing away the usual paperwork.'