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"Darling, do you ever worry that we're becoming some sort of Merchant-Ivory production?"

Servant girl announcing she wishes to leave because the other servants are too unrefined

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Victorian Lady

Second hand furniture.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

Blue Dress and Feather

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

A Macaroni in 1772

'Man...You age great!'

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

You had me at vintage.

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

Lord George brings news of the debate

A watch face with Stonehenge

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Antiques

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

'This is a letter opener, from the days before faxes and email. I just sold it online after I listed it as a vintage communication device.'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

"Mommy, look! Tablets from olden days!"

Swells - Men's Fashion

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

Man and woman buying furniture.

I want to hold your hand

'Who are you kidding? This is a wind-up isn't it!'