Performing Arts Fans Gifts

Seal wondering whether it will ever get the trick right.

Can-Can Dancer

Theatre refreshments

The triangle virtuoso flies to his next performance.

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Daughters on the beach

Senta jumps into the sea

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

Marcel Marceau's parrot

Circus

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

Koko pleads with the Mikado

Cleaner cleaning under the feet of the dancers as they perform

'You're thinking of your wife again, aren't you?'

Countess

Little ship of horrors

"The first rule of miming is you don't talk about miming."

The Costumer Is Always Right

Tristan and Isolde

Chorister's Loose Teeth

'...and on Bass...'

'So famous for her amazing fruit covered hats, Carmen Miranda's pineapple shoes were less well known.'

Funding Cuts for the Arts

'Whoops. There goes one of my prostheses.'

'Son I want you to Follow in My Footsteps.'

"The Flying Wallendas at home"

"He's a rescue, and before that he was in Vaudeville."

Can Can

"So. Are you a mime, a puppeteer, or a ventriloquist?"

"Yikes. I'm on in five minutes and still haven't figured out my character's motivation."

"Returns"

The clown loses it at the circus and takes the 'fat lady' hostage with a cream pie 'I'm not clowning this time, back-off or the fat-lady gets it!'

Animal Musicals

"Tonight Mathew, I'm going to be, Charlotte Church"