Performance Improvement Gifts

'I must say, Simms, when you're hot you're HOT but when you're not you're NOT!'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Just be yourself."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'They all want to play the star.'

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

Snowprov

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

'We like your zip-a-dee. You need to work on your dooh-dah.'

"I'm the only sane artist in the world."

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

Primitive magician

'He's maturing early.'

I'm not making enough money to like you.

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

Dog fetching clown shoes.

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

Orchestra conductor

Sales - "Any other suggestion besides getting a bigger chart?"

'Ask yourself, 'What is it I'm not doing?', and then ask yourself, 'What is it I'm doing too much?'.'

Targets.

Business Target

'It appears you've done a wonderful job...of not getting fired.'

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."