Perfectionist Recovery Pillows

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

D.I.Y

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"Well, I've finished the project on time and on budget!" "That means I've given you too much time and too much money!"

Perfection

"No, I'm still getting too much banjo."

"Installed it himself ??" saved $50."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"You're welcome."

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.

Woman trying to straighten a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

"Come on, we're late. Your crosshatching looks fine."

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'

"And on the eighth day, the Lord just puttered around..." "That cloud doesn't belong there. Did I do that? I'd better move it..."

Hecklers On Poetry Night

'It's bad enough we missed every deadline, but we're the long-range planning committee!'

Mount Everest.

"Our standards are so high we only hire people who do crossword puzzles in ink."

"I can't find anything wrong with your report…keep rewriting it until I can."

Sculptor's Attempts At Sculpting Crumpled Paper Ball End Up In Trash

"It's no use. We just can't improve on perfection."