Perennial Pessimist Pillows

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

The glass is half full. - '' - 'The glass is half empty' - '' - 'Gah!! No clean glasses!!' - '' -

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

Tom's last day.

"I see fleeting moments of happiness in between extended periods of boredom and stress."

The End is Near art gallery opening.

"Die alone"

'Barnhill from Marketing will present our economic projections.'

Glasses half full, half empty, half assed.

Lent is a real drag this year. - 'Why? What did you give up?' - 'Hope.' - 'I gave up chocolate. Guess what?1' - 'What?' - 'I've made my ideal weight! Yay!'

Half Empty/Half Full/I'm Still On Vacation!!!

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

'Taking guard' 'The pessimist'

Gonna Suck

Glass Half Empty and Glass Half Full.

'There was a mild outbreak of optimism all over the world today, but it's not expected to last.'

Y2K Solutions Inc.

This will be a banner day for you!

The guy who wanted change, experience, a shoulder to cry on, and a medal, all tied up in a nice,neat package, with whipped cream and a cherry on top.

"If at first you don't succeed blame somebody."

Things are never as bad as they seem - they're usually much, much worse.

'You know, that Lenny is a real 'glass half empty' kind of guy...!'

Half full. Half empty. Undecided.

'Against Joie De Vivre': Meet the author today.

"If I was you...I wouldn't be worried about the future..."

"This feels like the start of something that will eventually break one of our hearts."

DOOM, 'I do love you, Arnie, but you're such a downer!'

The world can fry like a chip and end tomorrow as far as I'm concerned! I've made sure all my money is safe.