Eternal Pessimist Pillows

Defeatist Marathon.

"Waiter! My glass is half empty."

Things are never as bad as they seem - they're usually much, much worse.

'What do you want to hear first, the bad news or the even worse news?'

"Sorry to report your labs came back positive. There's no reason you can't continue your pessimistic lifestyle, though."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

"Alright! Whoa! Yes! More boiled food!"

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

"Surgery up here is free!"

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"You're new here ... it's customary on dismal Monday mornings to be miserable."

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

'I tried being pessimistic. I was terrible at it.'

"The good news is...you've one less window to wash."

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Well, there's nowhere to go but up."

"You might ask, 'Can two people who love each other find happiness in an era of skyrocketing deficits?' I think they can."

'When my business turned into a lemon, I made lemonade....but that also failed when nobody liked its taste'

Why Do Old Hippies Smile?

The Death of the Blues

I have to get the Positive Thinker...

"The pizza came late and it was cold!"

'I've moved from being cautiously optimistic to being optimistically cautious.'

Is your glass half full or half empty? Who cares, fill her up!

'You have failed on all counts...'

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

Well, she certainly is one of our more positive employees!