Pep Talk Avoider Pillows

'Can we dispense with the pep talks? - Stress is what GOT me here!'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

'Let's go! Let's go! Hustle! ...Relatively speaking.'

Soccer coach of the year.

A push in the right direction: 50c.

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

Election Cancelling Headphones

"Regarding earnings guidance, as my mother used to say: 'If you can't say something nice, don't say anything'. I'll be shutting up now."

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

Listen up, team! There will be no trash talk. No harassing the refs. No throwing elbows. Understand? Yes, coach! Ok, kids! Go play! Coach.

Republicans have me feeling reflective about capitalism, in a good way. Uh, oh. You've been with the company 20 years. I appreciate that kind of loyalty. I just want you to know that. Thanks. It also makes me realize that you have few other job options and thus are more or less subject to my whims regarding pay and benefits. Okay, pep talk over. Enjoy your day. Hang on, I could maybe possibly get a job at Coffee King!

Motivational backup speakers

'Play among yourselves while I deal with my stage fright.'

'If you carry a big enough stick you don't have to worry about treading softly.'

"Do I make you nervous, young man?"

"That was there to give idlers reason to not stop and chat."

"Okay. You have two choices. Jump - and discover the joy of flight. . ."

"Sometimes there are just a lot of things to be sad about."

'Alright lads, let's keep the pack tight tonight, stay focused and I don't want to see any stragglers this time... yes I'm looking at you Colin!'

"It's just if the TV isn't on I never know where to look."

"It's a really exciting time to be here. Lots of positive change happening as I start turning this place around..."

"You just watch him Ethel. He'll sit there and say nothing, just to annoy me."

"Be the ball. Be the pins. Be the lane. Be the shoes."

'We're wavering between 'undecided' and 'no opinion.'

Jim liked to start each day with an optimistic outlook.

Please stop trying to engage me in conversation, Lars. Can't you tell when a wolverine is engrossed in a book? Sure, that's easy. They move their snouts when they read.

Stuck in the Conversation Pit of Hell.

"I've never been one for small talk..."

Fred's not into politics. His idea of Family Values is a 7 gallon tub of cheese frizzles.

"Quit asking if I'm O.K. If I'm ever O.K., I'll let you know."

'I found this keeps people from wanting to talk politics around me.'

"Oh, no! People are coming to sit near us! Put up the banner!"

'Remember, our hosts are from a swing state, so no political babble or they may snap!'