Public Speaking Avoider Pillows

"Regarding earnings guidance, as my mother used to say: 'If you can't say something nice, don't say anything'. I'll be shutting up now."

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

'Play among yourselves while I deal with my stage fright.'

A Puppet Named Juan

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

They hated me.

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

Campaign for Plain English

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Inclusive speech

Lethal Presentation

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'