Pennywise Strategist Gifts

'If we're going to have a banking relationship, you'll have to trust me more than this.'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Dad, this is Wendy, she's going to re-negotiate my allowance!"

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'I've crunched the numbers and you can afford to increase my allowance by 15.5%.'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

Inflation Is Up, Interest Rates Are Going Up. . . I'm Asking You To UP Your Donation.

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

'Walk softly and carry a large credit line.'

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

Man posting letter to the IRS.

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

Pound sign in an hourglass.

'I'd add 'UK' to your name and do it in big red letters...that'll be £15,000.'

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

"He's not our founder. He just found us the most tax loopholes."

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

So what happens when you told Armstrong you wouldn't recite that Sinclair Broadcasting script? Oh, nothing. Sinclair sued me for everything I own, that's all. But the joke's on them: I've set up different LLC's for every aspect of my life. So all they could get were the assets of the LLC that they paid. This opens up a whole world of possibilities. I knew forming Rudy-has-next-to-nada LLC was a good idea. I am going to miss my ten cents and my broken wiffle ball, though.

"That wasn't supposed to happen!!"

"I'm in advertising. . ."

"I think the idea behind coin collecting is to get one of each kind, not all of the same kind!"

'You really have no idea what you're doing do you?'

"Timing is everything. I recommend that you act now before the authorities discover I've escaped."

'My competitor down the street sasses his parents.'

Tax Shelters of the Rich and Famous.

'We just drive by and throw candy and stuff like in a parade.'

Kid's Lemonade Stand Has A High Pricing Policy

'I did well while good news was bad news. Then good news became good news--and that was bad news.'

'This is Phillips. He's our new idea man.'

"Epiphany!!! . . . I'm running the cafe as a communist utopia!...I've charged everyone exactly the same for their muffins, when I should have means-testing. If you can afford to pay $650 for a muffin, well then by Ayn Rand, that's exactly what I should charge you."

"I'd fire him in a minute, but the old man thinks we need his unique perspective around here."

"Isn't it nice to see more bobbies on the street...?"

'Here's the secret to a profitable 99-cent pint night - 14 ounces of foam, 2 ounces of beer.'

'We were just keeping up with the Joneses. How was I supposed to know the Joneses were keeping up with the Rockefellers?'