Penny-wise Pals Gifts

"Fine. As long as it doesn't involve spending money."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

'Bloody favouritism I call it.'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

'If we're going to have a banking relationship, you'll have to trust me more than this.'

Gym. Check in Here. The only time I feel the burn is when I pay the memberbship fee.

Man posting letter to the IRS.

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

'Darn, all these coupons are expired. We could have saved 50 cents on 9 cans of dog food.' 'We don't have a dog.'

'My first day in our vineyard wasn't a total loss, honey. I found two pennies.'

"Let's bury the TV remote and all the cell phones, then sit back and watch what happens."

Then, after a brief silence, things turned ugly,

Upside down question mark hanging from fishing line.

"I think the idea behind coin collecting is to get one of each kind, not all of the same kind!"

'No, I don't do much flying. I'm just here for the peanuts!'

"Aw, he's really attached to you."

"Yes, Doreen, I think I am capable of unconditional love."

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

...thirty-nine years young, recent divorcee, lifestyle includes a canine leitmotif....

"Is that a fixed-rate scowl or is it adjustable to the current interest rate?"

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single bank loan."

'I was hurt in a boating accident. I tripped over a rack of oars at a sporting goods store.'

That rising tide that was supposed to lift all boats washed away everything I had saved for a rainy day.

Keep your eyes open for ways to trim the family budget. As if! Don't blow her off. If we have no ideas, she'll trim us! How about that? Good sighting. Mom? Dry cleaner. 15% off men's shirts, pants. Somehow that idea did not occur to me.

Death of a Prankster

The End Of My Pen's Ink Supply Is Nea

'How thoughtful - he even got the dog a present.'

'So you're a cat person...'

"Could I have your leftovers menu?"

'Our checking account is suffering from insignificant funds.'