Penalty Box Veteran Gifts

'You gonna stop fighting? Huh? I can't hear you!'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

Goal

'Hand in the area, penalty!'

"Look,we'll settle this on penalties, not an American style shoot out."

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

Penalty

'He's got one more minute alone in the penalty box with my mother.'

'Uh-oh. That's the 'special' whistle. ... This is going to be a major penalty.'

Official Support Groups

On this date: Overly enthused and attending an NHL game en masse, the National Parole Board exceeds its mandate.

Giovanni C., Penalty Killer

'Yeah, I think we might need to call a plumber. It's overflowing again.'

'He's one of the strictest referees in the competition...'

"Oi! Whose side are you on, ref?"

"Alright, a yellow will stop him doing it again, but so would a b----y RED!"

Deathbed Conversion

Hockey and Cell Phones

'You're not allowed out of the Coach's Penalty Box.'

1981 - Introduction of goal nets and penalty kicks to the newly-formed Football League.

"An own-goal and a rebound penalty, huh!"

2 min. in the box for roughing, eternity for coughing."

'In 1959 it was, took his only penalty - missed.'

'I don't know what gets into me around the holidays.'

'Yeah. I used to get a lot of 'timeouts' as a kid, too.'

Football referee who dropped all his cards.

Off the post!

'I think it will be a very competitive season. Most of the league's key players are out on bail.'

'There goes a flag... could be a face-mask penalty.'

Football Hand of God.

'Death penalty'

'The hair shirt is sufficient. You don't have to shave with a hedgehog.'