Penalty Box Philosopher Pillows

'I don't know what gets into me around the holidays.'

'Yeah. I used to get a lot of 'timeouts' as a kid, too.'

'Yeah I opted out of the dental plan too.'

'He's got one more minute alone in the penalty box with my mother.'

Slap on the Wrist Box.

Hockey and Cell Phones

2 min. in the box for roughing, eternity for coughing."

Extreme Sisyphus

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

"I'm enhancing my appreciation for the knowledge gathered by humankind."

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Schrodinger's Cat Litter Box

Goal

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'Aw, come on guys - at the end of the day, it's only a game - right?'

"I might let the window box lay fallow, this season."

'Holding! Number 74 on the offense!... Fifteen years to life in prison...'

Penalty

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

Democracy - one of the drawbacks.

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

'Uh-oh. That's the 'special' whistle. ... This is going to be a major penalty.'

The Flying Pig: Free drinks (if England win on penalties)

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

I Do Not have OCD

"Always wondered what happened if you tried to drive through without a card."

'Another 'undecided'.'

'Thinking INSIDE the box is actually quite underrated!'

'If it's any consolation, us getting sent to the Principal's office is now trending on Twitter.'