Punishment Philosopher Pillows

'I like it, but I feel dungeons are a more enlightened way to go.'

Extreme Sisyphus

Minority Report

Stop and Birch

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock

"Can you hold on a sec? I just have to condemn this guy to death real quick."

The Evolution of Pop Culture Scapegoats

'I'd like to participate in gym class, but I'm afraid I'll get overheated and contribute to the global warming problem.'

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.

'He's got one more minute alone in the penalty box with my mother.'

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

The Flying Pig: Free drinks (if England win on penalties)

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

Please wait to be seated (by electric chair).

Capital punishment right or wrong? For men or women?

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

'Your honor, before we get into the issue of black and white, I'd like permission to slip into my grey suit.'

We are faced with a dilemma about why American social fabric is unravelling with such bewildering violence...fry a few people to make ourselves feel better about it!

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

"Always wondered what happened if you tried to drive through without a card."

I Do Not have OCD

'I pursued the ol' M-R-S degree, with a concentration in all of his shortcomings.'

'If it's any consolation, us getting sent to the Principal's office is now trending on Twitter.'

'Something is bothering you Roger. A wife can tell.'

'Forty-eight felony counts have taught me not to try to do everything myself.'

'Oh good! I hate long lines.'

Trump and justice

"I got a no TV for a week in math, a no dessert for a month in history, and a just wait 'til your father gets home in social studies."

...Then they got me on some trumped up morals charge.

Probation Officer