Punishment Philosopher Pillows

'I like it, but I feel dungeons are a more enlightened way to go.'

Extreme Sisyphus

Stop and Birch

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

'I'd like to participate in gym class, but I'm afraid I'll get overheated and contribute to the global warming problem.'

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.

'He's got one more minute alone in the penalty box with my mother.'

We are faced with a dilemma about why American social fabric is unravelling with such bewildering violence...fry a few people to make ourselves feel better about it!

Please wait to be seated (by electric chair).

The Flying Pig: Free drinks (if England win on penalties)

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

'Your honor, before we get into the issue of black and white, I'd like permission to slip into my grey suit.'

Capital punishment right or wrong? For men or women?

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

'I pursued the ol' M-R-S degree, with a concentration in all of his shortcomings.'

"Always wondered what happened if you tried to drive through without a card."

I Do Not have OCD

'If it's any consolation, us getting sent to the Principal's office is now trending on Twitter.'

Trump and justice

'Something is bothering you Roger. A wife can tell.'

'Forty-eight felony counts have taught me not to try to do everything myself.'

'Oh good! I hate long lines.'

"I got a no TV for a week in math, a no dessert for a month in history, and a just wait 'til your father gets home in social studies."

...Then they got me on some trumped up morals charge.

Probation Officer

"For parking in a handicap space, I sentence you to 30 days in a wheelchair!'