Pen Paladin Pillows

'Two men having a sword fight with large pen and pencil.'

Soldier armed with a pen.

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

Freedom of the press

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

"Be or be not. There is no question."

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

'You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take the red whiteboard marker. Give in to your anger.'

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Deadlines, kill fees. Who comes up with these terms?

"Wait a minute. Where am I going? I'm a writer."

"Can I borrow a pen?"

'Please give me the strength to ask for a raise without my voice breaking into an annoying falsetto and my brow all sweaty.'

The sword is mightier than the pen.

Forrest Gander

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

Brain and heart sweep away the negative

List making as therapy.

Pen mightier than sword.

'Meet the Author'/'Meet the Plagiarist' - An Author and a Plagiarist selling and signing the same book story and title.

Cartoonist Pencil

"It's a darkly comic indictment of my inability to write."

"Whatever happened to freedom of the press?"

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

Dear Bertha - I'd write more often, but I always seem to be out of ink! Love, Oggy

Soldier with large pencil instead of gun.

'I'm going to use it to write letters to keep our health benefits, son...we veterans have a new battle when we get back.'

Mourning Pens

"You'd better cool it. Remember what he did to you last time."

Writer Crisis

"Dude! I'm writing a letter to my parents. How many N's in money?"