Pen And Ink Joker Pillows

"How do I get this cross hatching out?"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Get crazy once in a while

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Jogging Bottoms

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

"Out, damn'd Spot, out I say! Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

"See how it feels"

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

'The most moving part, for me, is when they explain how to fuse the main pipe to the power hose.'

'I'm surprised the boss isn't in here checking up on us!'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

Toilet humour

Here lies BoBo the Clown

'You again? OK, pal... I'm deleting you and this time you're going to stay deleted!' ~ the screen saver of Dorian Gray.

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

Keats's heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains his sense.

Adult Absence Notes.

'Good book?'

Skywriter's Block

False encouragement.

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"