Peg-leg Punster Gifts

Cat scratches on Pirate

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Pet Cemetery.

Dog Walker

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

"YOU pass him on the left."

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

'Hopefully this will not have a negative impact on my dinner.'

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

Licker Store

'I'll have a Martini, Jack. Extra dry.'

Hamlet.

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

'That's Princess... formerly 'Prince'.'

Mobile Holmes.

Surfin' the web.

"Find another place to dump that crap. This stall is occupied."

Timmy Gets Solitary.

Where's Slinky going? To Florida, for spring training.

Lawyer Xing

Why cats don't cook. (sign on wall reads: Federal Law requires all employees to wear hairnets)

". . . But, according to your cat, you had a fur ball contract."

"He's a shiitake."