Peeping Tom Chuckles T-Shirts

'Neighbors...friends...artists models.'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

'How long do you think it will take to heal?'

"You talkin' to me?"

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

'This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you!'

Say it with cacti

'Are you throwing your medicine out of the window again?'

Will act like an idiot for food.

Cat looking up fish recipes.

"If she can find all the bones she's buried, she's my next investment counselor."

'Hey buddy, no photosynthesis!'

Witch sends Friend Requests to Hansel and Gretel

"Yeah, I wouldn't be too concerned about how stupid that cone looks."

'Now what?'

"Actually he's not begging."

"Tree's up!"

'First you fetch their slippers and then you chew them up -- it's called the 'good dog-bad dog' system.'

Metal detector finds another metal detector.

'I'm not a bad driver, they're bad pedestrians.'

"It's called 'salad,' but it's really just a hunk of raw meat."

"We won't achieve true power unless can we suppress the cat vote."

"I'm sorry that Ted ever taught him to smoke. It's costing us a fortune!"

'That's when he tries to sound like Pavorotti. Now here's how he sounds when he hits his finger with a hammer...'

"Yes, our master named us Romeo and Juliet. It's kind of ironic though since we can't stand each other..."

"Wow, you're right. That is a serious flea infestation!"

"Oh, thank goodness! My food dish wasn't stolen. It was just being washed and refilled. Nevermind, officer."

"Worry about global warming and your funny tropical fish...when you've cleared all those weeds off the driveway."

"Not much , Mom, just hanging with some peeps."