Pediatric Nutrition Fan Pillows

'You should give her a bigger breakfast - She's just eaten my thermometer!'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"Only 35% CACAO? I'll have to eat TWICE as much then!"

"They're healthy? All this time, Mom said carrots and raisins were nature's candy!"

Attack of the 'health' foods

'My parents didn't want me getting left behind in the system.'

Friendly bacteria

I assure you the animals didn't suffer. All of our meat comes from animals who died naturally of old age while vacationing in Miami.

"Looks like someone forget her lunch today."

Texas Dashboard Organizer

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' colour

Football fans in corona times

"I find if I say we're having hashtag broccoli or hastag brussel sprouts, they are more apt to eat them."

'What's intravenous feeding? My mom says if I don't eat my vegetables, she'd do that to me!'

Fruits and vegetables

Avacados

'Well I'm blowed if I know what any of this means!'

The B1 Vitamin Bomber

"Well, he's learned to walk the walk, now he just needs to learn how to talk the talk."

'This organic seed's so much better for you than ordinary seed!'

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

One of several sugar maple trees is labled sugar free.

I feel like he's undressing me and checking for irregular moles with his eyes. Dating a dermatologist.

Medical School. I'm going to specialize in children's feet. You'll be a "podiatrician."

It's THE miracle pill

"Look at the irregular colors, the odd shapes, the worm holes..."

"Have a banana."

"You may hear a few wise cracks."

"It's natural food, sir - Just eat it with your fingers."

'Your diet is to full of chemicals and artificial additives, I'll see what I can prescribe you to help.'

'I'm on this 3 month diet...it only lasts a week, but it feels like 3 months.'

A man splits in half when lifting a heavy box.