Peanut Butter Skeptic Pillows

'Think he wanted a plain one, without peanut butter.'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

'He can't be all bad if he still likes peanut butter.'

Table Of The Elephants

"And it shall be called peanut butter. And it shall appear as if perishable or in need of refrigeration but in truth it shall remain shelf-stable for months, though the oil may separate and require stirring. And there shall be a crunchy variety and there shall be a smooth variety. And . . ."

Jelly I.V.

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

'I'd like something with a high amount of vegetable protein, a bit of glucose or dextroe for energy, and some fiber.' 'One peanut butter and jelly on toast.'

"I hab peenut buffer stok to woof of my mout!"

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

For the Love of Peanut Butter

"That's your separation anxiety? When the oil separates in your all-natural peanut butter?"

'What happened to the free peanuts?'

Corporate urban legends

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

See, Peanut? I told you that 'Melt in your mouth, not in your hand' line would get you in trouble someday!

'I think we're in luck. This judge likes 'nut' cases.'

"When you're done cyberattacking, your PB&J, with crustd cut off, is waiting."

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

Peanut Butter and Jam Attack,

"I'd trade, but peanut butter sticks to my tongue stud."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"It's like as soon as we got married the man became so stupid we can't even remember how to slap some peanut butter on a cracker."

'More bad news from the lab. You're allergic to peanuts.'

'Well, I'd say this calls for a toast!'

'This tea is dreadful.' 'It's peanut butter soup.'

'I'll tell you my secret peanut butter recipe, but please don't spread it.'

'For the last time, Bobby, finish all your peanuts first... or you may go directly to your room!'

"Surround and attack. But do not be seduced by Kong's creamy, peanut butter filled center."

'I'm usually cautious as heck, but last Tuesday I got this hot tip on peanut futures in south Georgia...'