Peak Shopper Gifts

Tesco at top of the Mountain.

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

"Do you have pants in XL?"

Customer Convention

It bag and no knickers!

Complex Carbs

'We're going to need a bigger basket.'

Birthday Party Supplies: Plates, Cups, Decorations, Games, Aspirin, Ibuprofen.

"My husband can carry up to fifty times his body weight: he's great to go shopping with..."

'Aw,come on- we can't even afford 'from'.'

"Attention, shoppers. We have a lost boomer at the information desk."

"She used to shop until she dropped, but with online shopping, we lost that protection."

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

"Who'd have thought it? It turns out you can take it with you when you die."

"I'm in a purchasing mood, but I don't know if I feel like goods or services."

Sofa Sale: 'I like this sofa - I'll take it.'

Retailers Tech Expo. A customer just passed a card with an embedded chip by the sensor to complete the purchase! They wave goodbye to their money!

His suit: Italian. His shoes: English. His fries: French.

'So, where's the mall?'

"I bought you a software update...new underwear."

Stand in the Q.

'Come on, Raymond, we haven't reached our credit limit yet!'

'Now what to get with your compensation money-fur coat,diamond ring,Prada shoes...'

"Leave those,dear - I bought some at the supermarket."

"I'm looking for something special that says 'Meow.'"

"Unfortunately, they came up with a new class of antidepressants that can seriously inhibit compulsive shopping."

"Do you sell 'food'?"

'Sorry sir, no personal trolleys allowed in the store.'

Express Lane Ten Items Or Less Or A $5 Surcharge.

"Honey, you awake? I’m feeling frisky — let’s go shopping."

"We were a once proud nation of shopkeepers!"

Some online retailers are offering to exchange any gift after Christmas. We don't need to match that to keep market share. Our business model is entirely different that theirs. Meanwhile, at the mall. Halloween has come and gone ... Thanksgiving went too soon ... so now I hum a Christmas tune ... that's played in stores since June!

'I'll have that first pair you showed me.' - 'Sorry, they were sold an hour ago.'

"Poor Valerie is really depressed. She's lost the will to shop."

"Dear customers, we are pleased to announce that in five minutes, everything in store will be drastically reduced."