Peak Pretender Gifts

"Because we're jerks."

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"As you can see from the books behind me, I pretend to read a lot of books."

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

"But honey, I've spent my last 30 years pretending to look busy. I can't quit overnight."

"You need more info? Listen, son, our ancestors faked it, I fake it, and by gawd, it's time you learned to fake it."

Dolphin wins the swimming competition.

Parisian Misguided Tours.

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

"Athlete? No. Ambulance chaser."

Miserable man holding a balloon with smiling face.

Kid sweeps dirt under his junk on the floor.

Mountain climber reaches summit and finds sign which reads: No ball games.

Please use next mountain.

"Everest summit 1 km merge left"

Plagiarism

Pretentious man reads Culture supplement, saying: 'I don't know much about art but I know what to pretend to like.'

'They're praying the school doesn't find out that they've been pretending to be religious.'

"I'm very good at acting like I know what I'm doing."

Everest summit queue...

'I can't come to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty, little bug.'

On 'Friends Reunited' everyone can claim to be a front page maodel for GQ Magazine.

"I can't go to school today, Mom . . . I'm running a low-grade spring fever."

"We might as well go back, he says it's lonely at the top."

'The games console has saved us a fortune in holidays. We told him we were seeing the pyramids but we were actually in Skegness. He didn't notice.'

Walk right in. Sit right down.

"I always drink from a travel mug. It makes me feel like I'm out of the house."

"Well, no, but I always rooted for them."

"This book can't be very sophisticated...I understood it right away."

"On your CV it says you get the Nobel Prize for 'being spectacular', I didn't know there was one for that!"

Equality Championships

"Oh, I've always wanted to pretend to want to hike the Appalachian Trail."

Man Reaches Summit of Mountain And Discovers Ladder

"I felt a touch!"

Mt. Everest rubbish bin...