Peacenik Gifts

The Evils of War.

What we need more of. . . Love plus Peace = A Uniting of America

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Butterfly Woman

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Prize vegetables.

"Just be yourself."

The Busy Gardener

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Gender Equality

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

I like the Jets...I guess

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"His first out-of-body experience."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

The Zoo.

"We've made great progress!"

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

Self help acupuncture

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."