Peacekeeper Paradox Gifts

Whiskey wars

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"That's the last time I'm going to allow politics to be discussed in the office."

Israel/Palestine Conflict

Home Sweet Home

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

UNFADED GLORY

Human rights

"The session isn't quite going to plan."

The problem is, too many people aren't the least bit particular about their arrows.

"World War III? Hmm. O.K., but, remember, nobody gets hurt."

"Perhaps we got off on the wrong paw."

'So we're agreed: we'll go to mediation.'

'How long have you been fighting?'

Earth and war

"This is our new head of conflict resolution."

'Here, William, take this - the G8 has chosen you to nip over for a one-to-one with Assad...'

Uncle Mort, you fought in Korea, right? You think that war will start up again? Not if I can help it. It was the morning of July 27, nineteen hundred and fifty-three. I was pinned down on Pork Chop Hill. My bazooka had run out of ammo. All I could find to load into it was a stuffed panda bear. I loaded it and fired that bear into the maw of the enemy. It struck one of them atop the noggin. Moments later, the armistice was signed. Every July 27th, I awaken at dawn and chuck that same panda at the

'Negotiating skills need fine tuning.'

"Tell me, how long have you been having these feelings of inadequacy?"

Cat holds sign that says 'come over here', dog holds a sign that says 'how?'

A neutral observer.

"Think of global warming! The temperatures will raise by two degrees within the next 100 years! We've got to buy swimming trunks, t-shirts and sun tan for the baby!"

"Negotiations are progressing. No one's made a gratuitous personal attack in 12 minutes."

The Arab Autumn

Aleppo vs. Russia

Warring parents

'A mediator hasn't worked, so I brought in everyone's moms.'

Restorative Justice Victim's Revenge.

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'