Peaceful Techie Gifts

"Sorry, but I'm here right now."

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"You are still here."

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

"Hiya, Beautiful! What's your access code?"

'Throw in your iPad and you've got a deal.'

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

Man sitting at computer. Home sweet homepage framed on wall.'

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

"I love these fitness bracelets! it's like having a tamagotchi, but the tamagotchi is you."

First O.M.G. church.

Binary Meditation.

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

'Actually, we're having trouble finding people to test the damn thing.'

Holy phone

'Ms. Haskell, as we transition to paperless, do you think I should carry a briefcase or laptop...or both?'

Social media messages

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

You Have 1 New Messages

Boy at Computer.

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"The alarm will alert us when our meditative, present-moment-restoring tech break has ended."

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."

"I'm doing better. The voices in my head can now access my email."

"The pacemaker implant was fine. But you need to remember the password."

"We're cyber criminals, Barnes, NOT common criminals. Go get cleaned up and look like you're tech-savvy."

"I'm having trouble in computer class, Sir. Please send tech support."

Why god isn't listening...

'I back up my files religiously. I pray nothing happens to them.'

"The good news is a major company has noticed our website. The bad news is they're accusing us of copyright infringement."

www.meditation.commm