Peaceful Home Enthusiast T-Shirts

Reprisals!

"I didn't spark joy."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

"In da house"

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

Living together, couple in love.

'I know what you're thinking, honey, it's out of our price range but, wait till you see the size of the mailman's leg on this route!'

Fireplace Projector.

"So, you're staying in then?"

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

'Brew?'

Nest building

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

"Clinton spoke at my inauguration, and it's so cold outside-can he crash here for another week?"

'Phase Two : More of the same'

You're in violation of several bylaws, ma'am: Too many peppermint sticks, gingerbread shingles, sugar pollution of storm sewers - And with all the kids we've seen go in there, your occupancy clearly exceeds ordinances.

"Tia Carmen, is this our house or is it our home?"

'I'm okay with this... I'm not a risktaker.'

Changing house name.

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

'Cosy little kitchen, isn't it?'

'It's a prize for being first to go home.'

"This is your breakfast nook and over there next to the refrigerator is your breakfast cranny."

"I'm your court-appointed attorney, but I'm really an interior decorator."

COVID-19 dime