Payment Predicament Appreciator Gifts

"It was declined again—do you want to try a different card?"

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"I speak Latin, you know."

"Kiss, you idiot. Not hiss."

"Apparently, if you understand it, you don’t understand it."

Committee On Feline Healthcare

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

"And with that being said Polly became dinner." "Polly wanna cracker?" "Polly wanna piece of yo mama's sweet behind." "Oh boy..."

Woman stuck doing situps has spider web being built under arm

"It's an adjustment being a handshake guy in a fist-bump company."

Mathematician on the couch.

'I'm sure looking forward to relaxing when we get to the summit.'

"I really think I can handle this date on my own."

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

"Recently, Ludwig Mizzledorp came up with some startling discoveries in particle physics. I'd like to sing for you some of his equations."

'Yeah, yeah, the ammo is included. ... OK, so remember - anyone asks? You've never seen me before in your life.'

"I made a big mistake getting into ladies underwear..."

"The good news is that you'll be immortalized in a world-famous painting. The bad news...your face is stuck like that for life!"

'Yes,I did order an extra barrel,but for my shotgun.'

"That was Albert. He was at a demonstration against global warming and now he's in the hospital with frostbite."

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

"Boy needs bigger tire."

Maybe we never actually do anything because we keep calling for a show of hands.

'He's an abstract painter.'

Petition to ban petitions from outside this market.

"You shouldn't be so afraid of the dentist."

"...and this is my better half...!"

'The return of the Jehovah's Witnesses'

A parcel of postmen

'Gail, my dear, please don't talk about sex - my God this is a restaurant!'

Massage Mushroom Cloud

'It's for Pookie.'

'Scant consolation I'm sure, but the medical council have named the syndrome after me.'

"I don't care if you are the invisible man, sir, I can't let you in if you're not wearing a tie!"