Payment Predicament Appreciator Mugs

"It was declined again—do you want to try a different card?"

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"I speak Latin, you know."

"Apparently, if you understand it, you don’t understand it."

Committee On Feline Healthcare

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

"And with that being said Polly became dinner." "Polly wanna cracker?" "Polly wanna piece of yo mama's sweet behind." "Oh boy..."

Woman stuck doing situps has spider web being built under arm

"It's an adjustment being a handshake guy in a fist-bump company."

Mathematician on the couch.

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

'I'm sure looking forward to relaxing when we get to the summit.'

"I really think I can handle this date on my own."

"Recently, Ludwig Mizzledorp came up with some startling discoveries in particle physics. I'd like to sing for you some of his equations."

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

"I made a big mistake getting into ladies underwear..."

'Yeah, yeah, the ammo is included. ... OK, so remember - anyone asks? You've never seen me before in your life.'

"That was Albert. He was at a demonstration against global warming and now he's in the hospital with frostbite."

'Yes,I did order an extra barrel,but for my shotgun.'

"Boy needs bigger tire."

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

'He's an abstract painter.'

"You shouldn't be so afraid of the dentist."

"...and this is my better half...!"

A parcel of postmen

Massage Mushroom Cloud

'Gail, my dear, please don't talk about sex - my God this is a restaurant!'

'It's for Pookie.'

'The return of the Jehovah's Witnesses'

"I don't care if you are the invisible man, sir, I can't let you in if you're not wearing a tie!"