Paycheck Lamenter Gifts

"I swear by all that is decent. Someday I will triumph over this act of paltry atonement! Otherwise known as payday."

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

'I've been thinking about quitting, but it's the only thing that gets me out of the house.'

'Your heart's not in the job - admit you're only doing it for the money!'

'Think of it as a buyout package, Bob...without the 'buy' and just the 'out'!'

'After reviewing my student loans, I wrote my thesis on deficit spending.'

'Hello, Ma'am. I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door to help pay for the fortune I borrowed to take a course that had nothing to do with selling vacuums... and how are you doing?'

Banks hand out umbrellas in good weather and take them back when it rains.

Another Degree and Deeper in Debt

'Considering my student debt, I felt it prudent to specialize in bankruptcy law,'

"She's always like this at this time of the month,short tempered, insecure,anxious,questioning why she does the job!" "PMT?" "Wageslip!"

"When I was a child, I lost childish amounts of money, but when I became a man I put away childish losses and started losing man-sized amounts of money."

'That's because they won't let you die until you pay your student loans.'

"God, I hate cows."

I called Laurel an hour ago and she hasn't called me back. Do you think she still likes me?! Ahh! Now it's an hour and one minute! Love is a beautiful thing.

"We haven't lowered our fees, but we do offer discounted grief counseling."

Bank Student Loan Dept. You're only repaying a small fraction of your student loans? Yeah, because at this point I've forgotten almost everything I learned in college.

"Do you remember when all we had to worry about was growing stuff?"

"This here is a little number I wrote when I recovered a repressed memory."

"It seems like nowadays nobody appreciates the problems facing the super-wealthy."

What's the matter, Emily? Jeremy the jerk dumped me. I can't take it. My whole insides hurt. You'll be better off without him. Thanks, Twig. Youre lucky you didn't fall in love. Sigh. I wish I had a broken heart!

'I'm now ready to make my own way in the world. But first, can you guys loan me 200 grand to pay off my student loan?'

'All right already - I'll change your litter box.'

The Trials and Tribulations of Superheroes.

Sir Paul McCartney warns UK Culture Secretary of live music s bleak future

'It's only temporary. My student loans didn't quite carry me until social security.'

"I'm full of an unspeakable sadness and it goes a little something like this..."

'After deductions you owe us forty two pounds.'

Boring Inc. It was business as usual.

'I know I'm a small investor. What makes me mad is that when I started with you I was a large investor."

'Sorry folks you've missed this cartoon.'

"Severe lactose intolerance - he can't even look at a cow."

Leftover quorn for Peel. - 'What have we here? Leftover quorn.' - 'Oh, no! Tragedy strikes... now my only option is takeaway.' -

"... and there's a nominal fee for that emotional baggage."

"I don't have the $39,000 I need to pay off my student loans - I don't even have the comma."