Pay Scale Ponderer Pillows

'Ladies and gents, the executive-worker pay ratio is not what it used to be!'

The Jeopardy of Progress

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

World Production.

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

The Problem with World Population Growth

'It's all due to the birthrate falling drastically...'

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

'Euro's down against the pound, dollars up against yen, pound is... what the hell don't expect cheap meals in France!'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

"It drives me MAD when people whine about the amount top management get paid. . ."

If you can't afford the milk you drink, there are options. I can put you on a payment plan. Minimal APR since you're such a valued customer. Valued?! You hardly treat me like I'm valued, you miser! YOU TREAT ME WITH CONTEMPT! Good point. Maximum APR, then.

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

"Here's your paycheck. I hope we'll both find it amusing."

Population train.

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

Retirement Issues

'No raise, but we can make your desk and chair one-inch taller.'

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

'Stare at it all you want sir, but I can assure you, no one is going to jump out and yell 'April Fools.'

Aging population in Cuba

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

"Walter Thruggins, My Life as a Pensions Adviser."