Paws And Laughter Gifts

'I love dogs. I love kids. But when they come in alone I'm not going to get paid."

Dog.

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

Hush puppy.

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

"It's exhausting trying to keep him from throwing away perfectly good sticks."

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

Jerry had a difficult time coming up with cartoon ideas over the noise his dogs made. '...so then the cat says, 'No, thanks. I'll clean it myself.' 'Ha,ha! Yeah, that's a good one,Phil!'

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting

'Quick! 'Tushy to the ground' stance!'

Cat watching 'Catsablanca'

'I'll be darn lad when your mail-order waders get here!'

"So the vet says, 'If this is my thermometer, then where's my pen?' . . . Get it!? . . . IS this thing on!?"

Puppy Love.

Will act like an idiot for food.

Dogs at the vets - "What exactly does 'being seen to' mean?"

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

"What?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't be too concerned about how stupid that cone looks."

"I taught myself to beg."

Sheep Pranks.

'You Know Who got into my closet.'

'Let's go before everyone starts telling their stupid owner stories.'

"Big deal! You're still all bums to me."

"My name is Prince, and I'm a barkaholic."

"This is all very romantic, but I'm not in heat."

Walking my dog gives me a new leash on life!

Beware of the Dog sign: Is he really dangerous? No, I put up the sign to boost his ego!

"I'm still working on my keyboarding skills."