Patriotic Pet Parent Gifts

'I'm patriotic, but nobody beats Fido at wagging the flag!'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

Brian was very proud of his dog.

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

Dogs all across town saw fit to teach their owners a little empathy...

"That's the preacher's dog."

'Well, if he can't be a Minuteman, he can be a minutedog.'

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'He's great, he can even fetch the paper. Off the neighbour's step.'

'Don't worry. I'm using carpet shampoo.'

Where the framers of the Constitution bought their frames.

'We'll take it!'

The best relationships are silent.

The Upholstery Consultant

Good Dog!

My dog is an honor student at the Curtis Obedience School.

Cat Show: Most Arrogant

Balding dog

'No thanks. I'm just looking...'

'My cat is very unpredictable. I never know when he's going to ignore me.'

'We call him Fungus cuz he grows on you!'

"Our forefathers died to give us our most cherished freedom. The fight to absolutely terrify every dog and cat in the land every 4th of July."

'Really? A Great Ape? I'm a Great Dane myself...'

My dogs an obedience school honor student

'Let's settle who's smarter, once and for all. I challenge you to a game of chess.'

"Of course I remembered your tennis ball collection."

Measure of devotion: $5 reward for lost dog.

'Stop it! Hair on a veterinarian's suit is a sign of success!'

"I'll lure her from the kitchen with my 'gotta pee' whimper. That's when you make your move and pinch the salmon."

"I'm particularly proud of fetching that one."

The cat's gift.

"Don't listen to those pampered puppies at obedience school: there's no shame is being a working dog!"

"You're my precious little boo!"