Patios Gifts

Patio Melt

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

Canape?

Aprons

"Someone's sending us a tweet...it says 'more seed, please!'"

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

"The parasol certainly paid for itself this summer."

"It's a cookout-act stupid!"

We practically live out here in the summer.

'I'll take the one on the right.'

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

"Who like 'em well done?"

"More?"

"It just seems to me, Howard, that you're missing the whole point of having a terrace in the city."

'See I told you the garden was big enough for a table and chairs.'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

"Isn't it about time to switch from your warm-weather chair to your cold-weather chair?"

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

A family gets ready for their microwave meal on the patio.

'You spend too much time in this stuffy pub.' 'I'll go out onto the patio.'

Waiter, what's this photograph of Jeff Goldblum doing in my soup? He starred in the remake of "The Fly." Personally, I prefer Al (David) Hedison in the original.

"Yeah, Charlie wnet to one of those 'mindful outdoor experience' seminars. . ."

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

Pavement Art.

Lawn Furniture/Yawn Furniture.

"Where can I find your organic, locally raised children?"

'I thought we were going to dine with Al Frasco!'

"Actually, we're not a snow sculpture. Just been waiting for table service since September."

My name's Troy, and I'll be your serve tonight. My name's Fred and I'll be talking way too loudly about my colon. I'm still learning my name, and I'll be screaming for no good reason.

"My husband used his rejected manuscripts to make these columns."

First Bar of Spring