Patient Sage Pillows

"I'm going to put you on hold for a few minutes...to see if you totally lose it."

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

Wikipedia...

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

Music producers.

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

One way only.

'Bored?'

'It's not dead, honey. You've just never seen it turned off before.'

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"Sure your portfolio has taken a hit, but if you stay in the market for the long haul you'll be fine."

Computer spying.

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

"Dehumanization, maybe, but not depersonalization."

'It's all right, Dad -- it's a Buddhist chat room!'

Jeff's computer had ran out of memory again. Computer is saying 'How do I turn on again?'

"I'll be answering that question and many more in next week's webinar."

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

A feast in a hospital bed.

Why god isn't listening...

The past only looks good when you're living in the present.

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'

'There's only one side effect from this medication. It starts when you don't pay my bill!'

"Well the good news is that the new software analysed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product. . ."

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?