Patient Care Champion Gifts

Doctors Discussion

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

Medical personnel give their hearts

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

Virtual Doctor

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

Cannabis: Anti-seizure Medication

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

A Change of Scene.

Medical Examinations.

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

Fishing.

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

'Would you like the ECG tracing of your father's death? It's the least we can do.'

Stethoscope line.

'We're trying to use a team approach to medicine, but we're having trouble fitting everyone!'

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

"As explained, Parkinson's Disease is a depletion of dopamine in the brain. But before you fill up that space with a lot of negative thoughts, let's discuss your treatment options."

'Could you wear a Dr. Phil mask?'

"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."

NHS targets

Paramedics.

"How the hell should I know what I'm looking at? You're lousy insurance doesn't provide HD X-rays."

Newspaper reads: 'Doctors not giving adequate info to patients'. Doctor asking patient, "Say eh??"

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."

"It's our latest targets...We have to do twice as much with half the stuff in a quarter of the time!"

Stress on GPs

"John says you've all been compassionate and caring! Would you please stop... or he'll expect that at home!"

'You're not listening to what you're hearing.'

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

Traumatology.