Pasta Pundit Gifts

Tuscan Fare Of The Moment

"Well Herb, you were right. I guess no one likes whole wheat pasta."

'Pasta barstard' "Don't call me curly! I did warn you!!" "umm..bitter and twisted!"

Quality Control

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

"The inhabitants of Pluto today declared Earth not a planet..."

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"Summer's here. Do you want to start talking incessantly about tomatoes or corn?"

We can safely tell the Grand Jury your campaign money isn't soft, it's al dente.

Apples...37 Spinach...43 Peaches...51

'It had taken some time, but the finding of a spaghetti junction brought immense satisfaction.'

Dateline - Caf

"This plaque shows nine planets, but their transmissions say their system has eight."

'You're going to stitch me up in this interview aren't you?'

'Ah, here's your problem - all this spaghetti is real spaghetti.'

'Have you noticed how portions are getting bigger?'

Old soldiers never die. They just become TV pundits.

"You know our 'Never-Overwhelm-The-Reader' policy. Your story is irrelevant, trivial and stupid but not irrelevant, trivial and stupid enough."

'Increase your beer volume sales by filling the glasses up.'

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

"Tell me, is a single spaghetti a spaghetus or what?"

Einstein tests his pasta-antipasto theory.

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

Noodle exchange program.

"Thanks for the starter!"

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

"I hope it's not contagious."

"I've made my new spaghetti dish."