Past Escapist Gifts

'Faster, our past is catching up with us!'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Bo're'droom

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

Tree house.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"Could I please go back to the rack now?"

'I was so angry, I got up and tip-toed out of the meeting. I probably should've stomped.'

"Yes dear, I know lots of people have a second honeymoon. But we only got back from our first one last week."

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

'Yes, John's here, but he can't come to the phone at the moment. He's had a hard day so he's taking some time in his bouncy saucer.'

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

Occational lovers - "Let's see...work,work,work,time to recuperate.." "How about Friday."

'Take down that stupid sign! It's giving me a headache!'

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

'It's times like this I miss the business channel.'

"It's a trashy, unrealistic romance novel about a beautiful maiden and an equally handsome prince who fall instantly and passionately in love...naturally it's a New York Times Bestseller!"

"The jury's still out on whether you should whisk me away to Paris."

'Remember Machu Picchu, darling? We sat watching that fabulous sunset and suddenly you turned to me and asked me for a pre-nuptial agreement?'

'Henceforth, nurse Blum will be the nurse to take your blood pressure.'

"I just did a huge one in my diaper."

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"Now we'll all close our eyes and cover our ears, and the person who took the four hundred and twenty-eight million dollars will put it back."

A woman reads a romance novel.

'This is kind of a bad time - could we have an affair AFTER tax day'

"You know what you're running here, Lou? You're running a haven, that's what you're running here, Lou."

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

"Not again!"

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

Meeting to determinet non-essential personnel.

James Fenimore Cooper