Past Comparison Analyzer T-Shirts

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'Put that down your fool! It's a bone of contention.'

"I'm having trouble with my long-term memory -- I can't remember my earlier reincarnations."

Door sign states: Reincarnation studies Come again ... and again.

"That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life!"

Think we knew each other in a past life, Randy? I don't believe in past lives. In fact, I don't believe in the past. Or the future I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight? ... Sorry, that's Randy's line #42. Reflex. Wait, let me write that down.

The Pie Chart of Mystery

"I do count my blessings, but then I end up counting those of others who have more and better blessings, and that pisses me off."

Department of Archaeology Floor Plan

'It all started in my previous life, doctor.'

"I might not know much about art... but I know what I like."

'We will have ever lasting peace in Jerusalem when we have got rid of this lot!'

"We believe that in a former life she was an editor."

'I'll show you my investment opportunity if you'll show me yours.'

"I can see that in your past life you were also a gullible schmo easily taken in by charlatans."

Archeology Dept...'Diggin' the past, Dude!'

The idea of democracy in some former East Bloc-countries...

"I haven't looked back since I got a job."

European Crisis management.

"That's it! I'm giving up TV! Every single show is awesome! So now nothing is worth watching."

'That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life.'

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'Most of my relevant experience was gained in my past life, so I'm a bit rusty.'

"That's it boys - we defeated the Nazis! Time to go home, have kids and live the good life!"

"I've concluded a meta analysis of the myriad of tests we've run and I think I can say with a certain level of certainty that you are probably screwed...."

Los Ranchos Del Big Bucksville, Next 3 Exits...

Campaign Office. Help! I've fallen in the polls and I can't get up!

"No, don't worry about it, it definitely looks better on you."

"I see your past life."

"While I respect your belief in reincarnation, I'm not interested in jobs held in past lives."

First Projected Loser in November.