Pasadena Resident Gifts

Pot Legalization

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

"Stop son, council regulations state that we're not allowed to crow in urban areas..."

It was going to be a subdivision, but they ran out of snow. Chilly Hills Estates.

"Sorry! Traffic was awful and also I left really late."

"The people who hate trucks as environmentally destructive traffic obstacles and think that drivers are grubby idiots are waiting for their goods!"

"...and I have a farmhouse in the city."

'They're both great quarterbacks, but I chose Matt as my starter because he's dating a celebrity!'

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

'I hope it's important, he hates being interrupted during his trombone practice.'

The Original Information Superhighway

"Oh, I'm not lost. I just like your flowerbeds better."

"Wanting traffic to slow down, we don't post pothole warning signs."

'It's the fellow in 9B.'

'His bark is worse than his bite.'

Highway: tourist and resident traps.

Riverside Homes For Sale

"Since he was laid off in the city he's front traded our allotment vegetables,set up a derivatives market in school luncheon vouchers and bankrupted the piggy bank."

"Smoke signals from my neighbor's grill. He's asking if he can borrow some ice."

Burbivore

"Tell you the truth - I ain't feelin' all that Hitchcockian."

Dog Work Ethics

"To cut own on heating costs, we should consider house pooling."

'I'll bet you I can make the neighbor look over the fence and yell, 'shut up, you stupid mutt'!'

"He's still there. Try adding an angry face emoji."

A friendly neighbour helps man to escape discovery by an angry husband.

Flea in the ear

'Aye. I'm from Pittsburgh, mate. Ow'd ye know?'

"Good morning."

"I take it this means the barbeque is ready."

'Never mind! He's in an HMO. ...They're sending a tow truck.'