Party Raconteur T-Shirts

"Will you love and honor each other in good times and when the effects of the drugs and the alcohol wear off?"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

"The boss says he can remember the day I first started...but nothing after that."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

"Although the estate will be distributed equally, your father wanted you all to know that Keith was his favorite, followed by..."

"Back in the day, this pub was full of young, long-haired radicals, hell-bent on changing the world."

'Hello, Doc Barnes? I just got your bill. You've just bought yourself a cow.'

"I'll need a three iron."

"Actually, I don't know anybody here. I was just passing the house when I heard all the fun."

'If she can't speak yet, how do you know her name is Jennifer?'

'With me and Dave it was definitely love at first sight. How about you two?'

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

Tonight's specials are printed on the side of the barn. ? Bar.

Social butterfly

How was your week on the lake? Twig fell in lo-love! Oh, tell me! Why did I say that? Now I'll never find out anything. Relax, momster. $20 and I can provide a full background report. Done! Boys are so communicative!

"That's the man, Officer. That's Mr. Right!"

'Even women talk about the one that got away'

"You misinterpreted the news. I've simply had a terrific autumn."

'Sure, the term 'lab rat' has a lot of negative connotations but having drugs tested on you isn't so bad if you're a hypochondriac...'

Brenda always had Safe sex

"I'm reading a crummy mystery about robots taking over the internet...a real bot boiler."

'I understand that the two of you had a rather successful collaboration on our new sex manual!'

"And this is where I met your mum."

"I'm the writer, executive producer, and star of my fibs."

"My grant is somewhat restrictive. I have to work only with even numbers."

'Suspence, intrigue, deceit, vice...the annual report.'