Party Raconteur T-Shirts

"Will you love and honor each other in good times and when the effects of the drugs and the alcohol wear off?"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"I have a couple of other projects I'm excited about."

"The boss says he can remember the day I first started...but nothing after that."

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

"Although the estate will be distributed equally, your father wanted you all to know that Keith was his favorite, followed by..."

"Back in the day, this pub was full of young, long-haired radicals, hell-bent on changing the world."

"I'll need a three iron."

'Hello, Doc Barnes? I just got your bill. You've just bought yourself a cow.'

"Actually, I don't know anybody here. I was just passing the house when I heard all the fun."

'If she can't speak yet, how do you know her name is Jennifer?'

"That's the man, Officer. That's Mr. Right!"

'With me and Dave it was definitely love at first sight. How about you two?'

Social butterfly

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

'Sure, the term 'lab rat' has a lot of negative connotations but having drugs tested on you isn't so bad if you're a hypochondriac...'

'Even women talk about the one that got away'

"You misinterpreted the news. I've simply had a terrific autumn."

Brenda always had Safe sex

"I'm reading a crummy mystery about robots taking over the internet...a real bot boiler."

'I understand that the two of you had a rather successful collaboration on our new sex manual!'

"I'm the writer, executive producer, and star of my fibs."

"My grant is somewhat restrictive. I have to work only with even numbers."

'Suspence, intrigue, deceit, vice...the annual report.'

'...And before I knew it, I'd delegated ALL my authority!'