Recreational Raconteur T-Shirts

"I'll need a three iron."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

"The boss says he can remember the day I first started...but nothing after that."

Non Thought For The Day.

"I wrote a poem, even though I'm on vacation."

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

Wow, I don't know why we don't sit down like this more often!

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

'Hello, Doc Barnes? I just got your bill. You've just bought yourself a cow.'

"I'd like to be the first to welcome you to our company. But, I've decided not to hire you."

"You bet I had it mounted, it gave me the best fight of my life."

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

"That's the man, Officer. That's Mr. Right!"

Now we wait for the show to begin!

'Farm News' readers want to know about my childhood? Rather normal really: Lived in a pigsty, ate swill every day...'

'Life on the farm used to be so... innocent. What's happened to us?'

Social butterfly

'With me and Dave it was definitely love at first sight. How about you two?'

Making Things Pleasant.

How was your week on the lake? Twig fell in lo-love! Oh, tell me! Why did I say that? Now I'll never find out anything. Relax, momster. $20 and I can provide a full background report. Done! Boys are so communicative!

How Platypuses Are Born

'Even women talk about the one that got away'

"You misinterpreted the news. I've simply had a terrific autumn."

Brenda always had Safe sex

"And this is where I met your mum."

'The night cows fell on Alabama.'