Romantic Raconteur T-Shirts

Brenda always had Safe sex

"You've just been copying things from my sex diary into your sex diary."

"That's the man, Officer. That's Mr. Right!"

"No, actually you're very different from the women I usually date."

'There was Jason, Cyril, Jack, Henry, Mark, Peter, Manfred, and three psychiatrists.'

'Even women talk about the one that got away'

'I need the love of a good woman - see to it, Pendleton!'

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Seduction

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"With all the widows living here, I don't think of it as retirement. . . more like I was put out to stud!"

Social butterfly

"Hey baby. Check out my mom. . ."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

Tristan Und Isolde

Non Thought For The Day.

Catch and release dating.

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"I wrote a poem, even though I'm on vacation."

Frankenstein's Reading Light

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

Two men wearing laurels and holding hands

'They met in a revolving door and started going around together.'

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"I do love you, but I love you as a crimefighter."

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"You may now kiss the bride."

"At least you don't have a needy husband and an angry dog."

"I had half a date last weekend."

"Will you still love me when I'm old and past it?"

"He's all mine. Life is good."