Relaxed Raconteur T-Shirts

"I wrote a poem, even though I'm on vacation."

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

Pina Coladas

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

Non Thought For The Day.

"Just the slippers is fine!"

Trivia/Great Literature.

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, do we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

Zack Brillard and Live-In Companion

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 8.

"Back in the day, this pub was full of young, long-haired radicals, hell-bent on changing the world."

My first overseas holiday - and what a disaster! I spent most of the time in quarantine...

Fishing is fine but it's not what you'd call a spectator sport.

Man reading on top of giant pencil being carried by others.

'Hello, Doc Barnes? I just got your bill. You've just bought yourself a cow.'

"I'll need a three iron."

"Hurry, hurry! When you get back, we'll finish rehashing 1924 and get right on to 1925!"

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

"That's the man, Officer. That's Mr. Right!"

Social butterfly

Old man in rocking chair playing golf

'I outsourced toymaking and delivery, fired the elves and moved my headquarters here to the Cayman Islands.'

'You go and take stacks of photos. I'm going to read and I'll look at them when we get back to England.'

"I have a low-cost project you can which you can involve yourself with."

'Saturdays in paradise.'