Party Practitioner T-Shirts

"I thank you guys for a wonderful time—and for giving me the opportunity to access some laughter!"

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

Cow Pinatas

'No standing while room is in motion.'

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

"I am so attracted to you right now."

Check your universal remote control at the door.

Balancing two espresso martinis

Beers

Shaken not stirred

Karataoke

'In hindsight, we should have spent more on marketing than entertainment.'

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

"Whine and cheezed party."

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

"I write mostly confessional non-fiction."

'Inside Ralph is a comedienne crying to get out.'

"Don't go in there!!"

'They call it the people dance.'

Whale Piñata.

"Why can't you ever relax at parties?"

Pinata Zombies

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

"Ugh, I was afraid he'd be here."

Angry wife: 'Oh well DONE Keith! Why didn't you tell me the invite said BRING your own spirits?!'

"...and what do you think will happen if you do attend the party?

Happy Birthday Magicians of America

"You know, you're really cool – we should hang out sometime."

It's college orientation time. The brain cell is attending an elite academic university, and the hormones and endorphins are going to party schools. The muscle cell earned an athletic scholarship. And it looks like the DNA molecule has already picked a major. The DNA has life planned out. It's chemically active down there. The individual atoms are excited, but also seem a bit sad. Of course! Going off to college is an emotional time for them. Old bonds are breaking and new ones are bein