Party Perfectionist T-Shirts

"I asked folks to bring whatever they want, so now we have ten tubs of guacamole, no chips, and eight cases of the most obnoxiously flavored hard seltzer."

'Trust you to be the only guest without a place card!'

Social positionin system - "What does it say?" "There's bigger dorks than you ten feet ahead."

"Try to make your guests feel at home - especially when you wish they were!"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

Party Animals.

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

How to deliver a successful presentation.

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"Any questions?"

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

Green Balloon

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

Canape?

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

The Streets - Night

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

A man looks up at the earth

Hanging off every word...

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'